Heh heh. This is fan-fictionThese characters are the property of Ted Turner, Lorimar, or Rankin-Bass Productions. I'm here to make people laugh and I'm making no money from this, so there!
Snarf was skipping merrily along as he collected candyfruits for the twins' birthday party. He hoped that it wouldn't be a disaster like last year: Kit and Kat had injected Thunder-laxative into the Berbil's brownies and Panthro came very close to decapitating Rober-Bill. In the end, WilyKit and WilyKat were unable to sit down for a week.
"Oh, I hope those kids behave themselves this year, snarf snarf." Snarf suddenly froze as a black and white shape dashed across his peripheral vision. Snarf thought to himself, "Uh oh. Something's following me. I better head back, snarf snarf."
Suddenly, Snarf found himself being held in a standing-cradle positionnose to nose with a skunk! As the intense aroma of the skunk's natural defenses overwhelmed him to the point of nearly fainting, Snarf cried, "Phew!!!"
"Zat's 'Le Pew', my little exotic love kitten!"
"Aaaack!" Snarf smacked the amorous skunk with an outstretched paw and started running towards the Cat's Lair at full speed, leaving his freshly-picked candyfruit behind. "Schneeeaaaaarrrrrrrffff!"
"I love it when zey play 'hard to get', no?" The skunk raised his voice, "Oh, beautiful! You forgot your fruit basket!"
Snarf was gasping for breath as he got closer to Cat's Lair. He glanced behind himself and saw the Skunk merrily hopping on all fours like it was effortless. The skunk came up beside him and twitched one eyebrow suggestively. "Hau hau hau, you have a beautiful voice my little bonsoir!"
Snarf was too shocked to notice a tree root in front of him. He tripped and fell face-first, only to be scooped up by the skunk again. He tried to speak, but the combination of exhaustion and the skunk's overpowering odor left him voiceless.
"I am overcome by your beauty, no? *smack smack smack* We shall have a romance like ze world has never seen, no? *smack smack smack* I am enamored by your exotic red and yellow fur, my little fire pet!"
Snarf broke the hold and spat a few times as he got a second wind and ran for the lair again.
"I just love blonds. Zey always having ze most fun, no?" Once again, the skunk called out to Snarf: "I will be waiting for you, my little chickadee!"
~ ~ ~
Snarf ran into the control room where the rest of the Thundercats were, closed the door behind him, and slumped against the wall gasping for breath.
WilyKit approached Snarf and said, "What happened to PHEW!"
Snarf gasped, "Skhhhh... skhhhh... skunk... skunk... snarf... snarf..."
Panthro came forward coughing and holding his nose. "Holy Mother of Jaga, Snarf! What are you trying to do, make us sick? Get your stinkin' ass out of here and into the shower!" Panthro coughed a couple times. "And someone open a window already!"
Snarf sighed and slinked his way towards the showers, wincing at Panthro's cursing back in the control room. He knew about skunks, so he quickly grabbed a jar of tomato juice that he was saving in the kitchen. He felt guilty when he heard Cheetara retching over the sink as he left. He could hear her say, "Uhhhggh... dammit Snarf! I was... urrrrp... about... to cook... urrrrp... hrrraaacckk!"
As he heard the garbage disposal come to life behind him, he quietly said to himself, "Oh, sneeeaaarrrffff! What did I do to deserve this?" Snarf rounded the corner and spent the next hour washing himself with tomato juice, soap, and water.
~ ~ ~
Later, as the kids' birthday party was in full swing, WilyKat managed to slip some grain alcohol that he stole from the Wollow's village into the punch. Panthro kept a constant eye on the Thunderkittens, but WilyKat was too clever. It only took a brief moment for him to spike the punch, which had a good portion of watermelon juice to mask the flavor of the moonshine. No one was the wiser, and it really loosened the party up.
Snarf was so nervous after his ordeal that he drank the punch almost compulsively until the kittens realized what was happening. Feeling an uncommon twinge of guilt, they distracted him from the punch bowl. Snarf was really feeling the booze, so he announced that he was going to get some air.
All of the adult Thundercats were living it up as WilyKit and WilyKat sat back and started laughing to themselves. Yes, this was more fun than last year, and they would probably get away with it because they weren't touching the punch at all. WilyKat had his own stash of candyfruit wine that they would hit later on when the adults were asleep. The Thunderkittens couldn't wait to sneak out, get hammered, and set fire to something in the middle of the night.
~ ~ ~
Snarf was outside taking in the fresh air to clear his head when he suddenly picked up a familiar odor that put him on full alert. He had forgotten about the skunk!
Once again, in a flash of black and white, he was in "cradle position" again. "Mon ami! You have stolen my heart, my little queen of passion! *smack smack smack*"
Snarf was quite inebriated now as he slurred, "No... get off me, snarrrrffff *hic*"
"Hau hau! Too much ze party girl, no? I, Pepé Le Pew, will care for your every needs, my little red ball of furry passion!"
In another flash, Pepé was back waving a fan and holding a bunch of grapes over Snarf's mouth. "Anything for you, my little princess of ze Nile! Third Earth girls are easy, no?"
"Snarrff... *hic* snarrff... I'm not a..."
"I am blinded by love, my little throw-rug! Let us express our deepest feelings, no?"
~ ~ ~
The party upstairs screeched to a halt as the Thundercats heard a blood-curdling "Schnnneeeaaaaarrrrrrrffffff!" It was one octave higher than they've ever heard from him beforeeven higher than the time when WilyKat had set up a mouse trap in the kitchen and forgot to tell him about it.
Kit and Kat were the first ones out the door. They stood in shock as they saw a skunk being quite passionate with their old buddy.
Snarf was wide-eyed and screaming, "Do something! Help! Help! Schnneaaarrrraaaarrrraaaarrrraaaarrrraaarrrffff!"
The kids stood frozen as Panthro shoved his way past them. "For cryin' out loud!" Panthro unleashed some explosive pellets from his nunchakus. He was fairly intoxicated but managed to nail the skunk, causing him to take off. Snarf fell face-first in a most undignified position before Panthro scooped him up. Panthro shot an angry glance towards the kittens as he realized that Snarf was very intoxicated and barely in control of himself. He would have said something, but he was holding his breath. He growled briefly and carried the now-unconscious Snarf back into the lair.
Everyone paused as they heard a voice in the distance. "I am a lover, not a fighter. I will always remember you my little warm fuzzy love interest!!!"
Cheetara said, "I think I'm gonna be sick..." She quickly ran behind Cat's Lair and lost her punch and cake in the bushes.
Lion-o looked down at the kids and said, "You know, you're both in trouble."
WilyKit and WilyKat looked up sheepishly and were surprised to see Lion-o winking at them.
He whispered, "I don't like what happened to Snarf out here, but I loved the punch. Ha! I saw you slip that in, Kat. I'll tell the others to go easy on you. Ha ha. They really needed to loosen up!" Raising his voice, Lion-o said, "*ahem* Now go to your roomsboth of you!" winking the whole time in a way the others couldn't see.
WilyKit and WilyKat feigned regret as they retreated to their rooms. In a few hours, the real party would begin.