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Bourée by Jethro Tull

Hi there! I'm WilyKit, one of the Thunderian Nobles. WilyKat (yes, I still call him that—he hates it!) {;-) He's been bugging me to post my own Thundernet page ever since I moved back to New Thundera. I've been living among the Warrior Maidens for about two years, and I really got in touch with nature. I'm very good with a bow and arrow now, so if you're reading this, Monkian, don't mess with me! I won't just knock you out next time. (If you're wondering, he's this big ugly gorilla who used to be with the Mutants. He left Slythe and the others a few years ago, and he's dedicated his life to hitting on me! Honestly, I think I liked him better when he was just trying to kill me. Surely, he can find some other monkey on his own stinking planet!)

Do you know why I moved back to New Thundera? It's because of all of you! All you "WildKat fans" discovered that the high and mighty rock star had a sister on Third Earth, and you've been coming in droves to bug me. It's totally disrupted Queen Willa's village. I swear, you're all turning her hair grey! I tried living on my own, but you still came. I figured if I moved back to New Thundera, you'd know where I was (more or less,) and leave the Warrior Maidens alone. (They really hate Thunderian teenagers now, so don't complain to me if you get an arrow in your backside!) So, here I am. I hope you're all happy! I curse the day when WilyKat dug up those lousy "compact disc" thingies, grew his hair long, and became a self-important rock star. He's the reason everyone's making noise, "moshing", and drinking that cheap "Thunder-hawk Wine" all over the planet.

Everyone keeps asking me "Gee, what's it like to be WildKat's sister?" Well, if the above didn't answer your question, he's always doing something stupid and getting arrested—like the time he threw a bottle at the Mayor of Minertown and barely missed his head because he said that ten o'clock was too late to play. He frightens me because he's got all this aggression now (which surprised me—he used to be afraid of his own shadow) and he regularly starts fights. I heard that he layed out Slythe and a bunch of his henchmen with his electric guitar when they tried to jump him after a show one night; not that I'm really opposed to that, but he's been getting a little too crazy lately. Everyone wants to hear him growl... give me a break! Talk about a fatal case of testosterone poisoning! Why can't he just go climb a mountain like Lion-o? (Then again, we'd probably have to rescue him.)

Oh yes—if you're still trying to find me, give it up! I live somewhere in the Great Thunderan Forest, which covers one eighth of the planet, and has lots of Thundranium ore scattered all over. Don't risk your little lives trying to find me! Use my t-mail address, or better yet, bug my brother instead! He loves all that attention—I don't! And by the way, you all keep asking me about that stupid "Night on Thundera" thing that everyone seems to know by heart. None of that happened! It's fiction, and bad fiction at that! Really now, would you believe something that came out of that lousy mummy's stew pot? Remember this: Panthro once got arrested for starting a bar fight when someone brought that up. Forget it already! (Also remember this... it took five officers to restrain him after he wiped the walls with everyone in there!)

If you still want to talk to me, just write my t-mail address. I won't guarantee that I'll answer because for one, any reference to my brother or his band will be tossed by my mail filter, and two, all you boys who want to date me remember this: I kick serious thunder-butt, and I don't want you drooling all over me. When I marry someone, he'll have to be real tough, and be able to live in the Great Thunderan Forest away from all civilization. If you think that's you, write me, otherwise, get a life! Just feel lucky that I even provided these pictures. (My brother talked me into it!)

I expect to be flooded with t-mail, so don't be surprised if it takes me a year to respond. I'll read what I can anyway, because I'd like to get at least a few pen-pals who can have a conversation without bringing up "Thunderrica."

wilykit@thundersat.k3.tnet (Yes, I use the thundersat system. Thank you Tygra, for giving me a free satellite account. That only narrows down my true location to about, oh... the entire forest!)




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